Uncovering Alice : A Journey of Self Discovery (2024)

I’ve been writing since I was small, a diary, a poem, a story, a panel on my bedroom wall. Now thousands of notes saved on my phone, endless diaries filled under my bed. All with this underlying NEED to understand. To put words to feelings and sensations, to make sense of the world and ultimately understand why I am the way I am. I’ve always been peeling, PRYING back the layers with my feet against the wall, hoping for some kind of solid, end of the road style answer to close it all… Whilst another part of me loves the adventure with no end, the searching but never finding, the depth of discovery. I’d love to share my discoveries in the form of words, longer than a social media post will allow. I want to share information and insights that have allowed me to feel more peace and ease within myself… in the hope that it might scoop you up and help you regain balance in the rough times too.

Why NOW?

I spent a good 10 years of my life actively trying to escape myself and my life, when nothing was particularly wrong. Escapism manifested in the form of daydreaming about travel, drinking lots… LOADS of alcohol, festivals, relationships, food, exercise (in particular running), new jobs, new courses, buying clothes and returning clothes (as if i’d actually keep them - sorry asos) - whilst also attempting to keep up the appearance of a nice normal-ish girl.

6 years ago I started on a mission to actually understand myself and ‘fix the problem’ from within. Well I guess it started out as as looking for my purpose, through trying to understand myself. I started furiously, frantically learning all I could about how the mind and the body works. I began listening to podcasts on nutrition, mindset, manifestation, spirituality. I began reading all kinds of books, psychology, neuroscience, self help. I started practising yoga. I spent time reflecting on all of my relationships including those with money, exercise, food and myself especially. I took a f*ck load of courses! I spent time in group coaching programmes and am now working with my third personal coach.

Now I know all of this knowledge has 100% been a helpful part of the process and has moved me forward MASSIVELY… Though it gets to a point where sudden familiarities start to appear… remember that need I had to desperately escape my life? Well it turns out that I have still been partially escaping, but I’d swapped my original tools like (alcohol and running) for the wellness tools of knowledge and yoga. I’ve spent a lot of time on my own, but the majority of it busy… busy doing ‘good stuff’ but busy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with any of it. Though I’m now at the actual FEELINGS stage… this is the part I realise I’ve been avoiding. Though this is the actual TRANSFORMATIONAL part. The feelings take you from stuck banging your head up against a wall, to actually moving forward and taking steps you never thought you’d take. Though you better be prepared for it to get messy and I honestly don’t know if I could have done it without support! This is the reason I’m writing this now and I’m actually going to publish it, rather than procrastinate for another 6 years. Whats that saying, ‘On the other side of the feelings you’re avoiding is everything you desire’, well I’m starting to get it now… here we go.

Why you?

One of the biggest things I’ve learnt on my journey of self discovery is the power of support and sharing with others - when you’re surrounded with people who charge you up, its like simultaneously strengthening the magnet within each other.

I think there’s stacks of people out there like me, doing the internal work, wanting to create a life they don’t want to escape from, writers, artists, entrepreneurs; fellow humans who have all the knowledge and skills to make sh*t happen… but aren’t quite making it happen? I LOVE LOVE LOVE creative humans and I guess thats another way of saying I love humans, because I believe we are all creative at heart. I’d love to create a community where we can explore and create together. I want to share insights and spark conversations that change the game for all of us.

I want to inspire courage in you to face the feelings you’re avoiding, the feelings that are keeping you stuck and looping around in circles. I want to share things that have moved me forward in the hope it will wake that fire in you too, to uncover the inner you, thats ready to be two feet in your life vs skirting around the edges.

My promise to me and you…

I’ll write every week, maybe more, I’m going to show up and explore all I’ve learned and embodied through these funny little symbols on a page. Processing ideas and insights, challenging ideas you hold to be true, calling you out on your own patterns of avoidance and me in the process. It time to feel forwards and together.

I look forward to creating with you.

EA xox